Met Ball 2013

Wow! Is really my first reaction to going through the Met Ball photos. Was the dress code on the invitation not written clearly enough or do people not understand what Punk means, opting instead for either the dullest dresses of all time, or even more bizarrely, gothic-Renaissance. I am usually so excited for the fashion at this event; all the designers get to be as creative as they want, models and actresses are prepared to push the boat out, because it’s a themed gala for goodness sake!!! I will just post a couple of pictures of punk for reference and if you honestly think that anyone got close to this era/ethos/movement/ let me know, because for me this was an EPIC fail. We will start off with the few good looks and then fade into the plain wrong.






punk13Anja Rubik in Anthony Vaccarello, below, looks a little Michael Jackson Thriller/Beat It in this outfit but at least there is an edge and I love the messy hair.


Anne Hathaway in Valentino. I actually think she looks amazing in this dress: the blonde hair really works and the excessive amount of flattened side boob doesn’t take away from the fact that she looks sexy which is something she hasn’t rocked before. Although just because it’s black and see-through DOES NOT MAKE IT PUNK! And no punk would be seen dead with feather sleeves.


Cameron Diaz in Stella McCartney. Another blonde rocking a very different look from their normal style. I think this works as a look but, and I really am going to be repeating myself over and over again in this post, just because you have a token couple of spikes on your belt DOES NOT MAKE IT PUNK.


Allison Williams in Altuzarra. This had the lace, see through and black components that seem to be the fashion industry/stylists limited understanding of punk. As I said in the opening paragraph, this is more gothic but I think she looks good in a Miss Haversham sort of way.


Hailee Stein in Donna Karen. I love this! Love love love. It is a touch angelic but with the safety pins made to looks like a flower pattern this is what I hoped designers would be clever enough to do, take a reference, even if it is the obvious ripped fabric, fishnets, spikes and studs but run with it in a modern way. Well played!


Taylor Tomasi Hill, fashion editor, in Mr Browne. I love this too. Again, simple touches that don’t involve the cliches of black or lace can still make something punk. This dress has an uneven torn and frayed hem which is cool, as are the spikes that go round the shoulder and cup under the cleavage. I really wasn’t looking for someone to be in torn denim and a mohawk, just a designer being clever with the theme and this is a perfect example of that.


Sienna Miller in Burberry. I know people liked this but a studded jacket over a white dress, is that really the best Burberry can do? Really?! A British label and the whole outfit hinges on a jacket? I don’t like her hair either, just because it looks dirty DOES NOT MAKE IT PUNK!


Beyonce in Givenchy Haute Couture. This is so awful, especially as she was co-hosting the event. She is someone who could have carried off something super edgy, super sexy and super punk. The dress does not flatter her at all and looks like a Pucci throwback and the horrible matching boots really didn’t work either. Why didn’t she wear black lipstick or do something crazy with her hair? Another trend of the evening was over the elbow gloves, which DOES NOT MAKE IT PUNK!


Gwyneth Paltrow in Valentino. I almost can’t bear to even comment on this horror. Why did she wear this? She’s had a disaster with breast flattening pink before. This manages to be both odd and dull. And the casually ‘just put my hair in a ponytail in the car on the way over’ is totally wrong. I have seen her look so much cooler and it’s a disgrace anyone could turn up to an exhibition entitled Punk: Chaos to Couture in this.  She has the fashion world at her beck and call, for heaven’s sake.


Jennifer Lawrence in Dior. Another person who completely missed the boat. Just because you are the face of the company does not mean you have to wear their dullest option. Why, oh why, does she have a wisp of a veil over her face? How is that a punk look ever? No, really, EVER? So disappointing of Christian Dior I have to say, it’s like they sent the most average dress they could find.


Karlie Kloss in Louis Vuitton. This probably is the worst look of the evening for me (thanks Marc Jacobs) purely because she is a stunning 20year old top model and this looks like she’s breast feeding her third child and used some curtains to make the dress! Truly horrible. I can’t believe she looked in the mirror and thought this was ok. It’s so unflattering in both shape and colour and has no reference to punk whatsoever. I loathe it.


Katy Perry in Dolce & Gabbana, one of the many examples of Byzantine references.  What’s with the crown? What’s with the saint? This is not punk at all and frankly pretty random.


Linda Evangelista in Marchesa. Ouch! This is one of the top super models of all time, all short slicked hair smouldering in a white shirt and this makes her look like they have just found the Russian Princess Anastasia.


Sarah Jessica Parker in Giles. She thought she was being so clever in the Philip Treacy headpiece that looked like a mohawk but the effect is more Roman soldier. As this also has weird Maria Antoinette overtones, I just don’t understand the look at all.


Other people to quickly name and shame: Michelle Williams, who made no effort in a plain black dress and tiara, Gwen Stefani who really should have done better and was an embarrassment to her No Doubt punk persona, Jennifer Lopez in predictable animal print, Uma Thurman channeling Poison Ivy in Zac Posen, Diane Kruger who decided her contribution would be to dip dye her hair pink tut tut tut, Carey Mulligan who added ONE safety pin to make her otherwise dull black dress ‘punk’, Blake Lively in a prom dress, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley for finding a dress that doesn’t flatter her amazing body at all, Karolina K looking like a cheap stall-bought scarf, Solange who seemed to think the theme was 60’s Motown, Madonna for all of it, Heidi Klum for wearing a wedding dress and Kristen Stewart for highlighting the important rule that jumpsuits don’t suit everyone.  At least Anna Wintour wasn’t disappointed with the turnout for her party: her upbeat floral Chanel couture dress was resolutely everything Punk does not represent.


One Response to “Met Ball 2013”

  1. Equillibrium Says:

    Reblogged this on Equillibrium's Blog and commented:
    Hell ya! Took the words right out of my mouth!! And repeat, shame on Gwen… if you used to be, you never really were. You know this!

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